An allowance

An allowance of escape…and so it begins. A light shines brightly leading to the safe cave. Shutting out the screams, the smiles, the simple quest of routine. The allowance of constriction.

The door opens with opportunity. No commitment, no selling of the soul. A smile, a few words, a weather update, a short story about a loved one, a mutual giggle, a realization.

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Homeless with a refined taste in fruit

The homeless mess with my mind.
The cardboard, the dirt, the oily hair, the sores, the sandpaper-skin, the carts; the constant ability to sit still with no inherent desire for change.

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My latest interaction with a man who had most likely slept outdoors for months and endures a constant struggle with his sanitation practices was sitting on the east side of my local Walmart re-situating his cart i.e. his life.

I approach and smile politely.
He kindly smiles right on cue.
“Hope is not lost.” I thought.

As I walk by I initiate, “How are you?”
He replied casually “I’ve had better days.”

His mere response caused me to self reflect.
I wasn’t in the greatest of moods for reasons I’ll just blame on my kids.
It quickly dawned on me that raising kids and keeping house was a blessing!
Enduring those feelings that life is being sucked right of me…that is a blessing!
The feeling that no one is listening for the hundredth thousandth time…that is a blessing!
Willfully get into a fully insured car with no worries about filing the tank to buy 4 items out of pure desire (2 unripe mangos, organic ketchup, and a small bottle of hydrogen peroxide)…that is a blessing!

What exactly was I grumpy about? Enjoying a good meal or two or three a day?  Not having enough closet space? wtf! And to put the buttercream icing on the scrumptious two-tier cake, I have never been abandoned or left out to dry.

The least I could spare this afternoon was a conversation with a man who has seen better days. After covering topics such as fishing with his father, his hometown, my woes of raising a family, his explanation of why he is in the position he’s in and his plans for the future I realize I better get home.
My husband and I have agreed to bond with our niece and nephews for the night.

After a quick goodbye and a wish for better days I take a few steps to my car, pulling out my keys. I carelessly call out, “Care for a mango?”

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To my surprise he was very familiar with mangos and tells me how he remembers his mother ordering boxes of mangos during the holidays.
Nourishment for the mind, body and the soul.
Who knew?

The homeless mess with my mind.
Past adventures, their good taste in fruit, and their ability to change the outlook of my day.

Alleviating Self-doubt with a Two Week Yoga Cleanse

When self doubt creeps into the deepest, most inner guarded crevices of who we are, what should we do? Stand taller. Be courageous, more creative, reveal more soul…practice yoga!

In this day & age these life-enhancing experiences are available with a hefty price tag. Right?! Nah! Before you let that critical monkey mind weigh you down; open that heart space and listen for the opportunities without the price tag. I uncovered this winner: two weeks unlimited yoga at a fabulous studio in my town for only $20! What?! Yep yep.

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It was a personal gold mine. After 4 days of solid yoga (which was a first for me) I woke up feeling the space between my shoulders! You yogis know what I’m talking about…a glorious feeling. During my two weeks, I passionately flipped my dog, experienced my first yoga nidra class (ultimately increasing my sleep quality by 90%), nailed my Warrior III Pose (the confidence this exudes!) and humorously experimented with side crow pose. I alleviated self-doubt. I strived to go to at least one hour and a half class daily, however being the family mom that I am, the weekends required more of me (I know I know such first world problems). Embracing the inner beauty of unlimited yoga for all 14 days was a no go for me, but I came awfully close.
Close enough.

Surrounded by soothing sounds of eastern music, skilled teachers who value simple lessons, and a community who appreciates the life force of our breathe was life-enhancing to say the least. Bettering our bodies inherently betters our world. Try it. Once daily personal goals are attained, we are left with this opportunity: the willingness to push energy into positive and powerful avenues. Creating passion & direction in life will do nothing more than help you continue to reveal yours. What a cycle!

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Alleviate self-doubt and bend into creativity for a two-week cleanse of your choice.
Grab the tools for whichever art form is tugging on your heart strings today.
Sit down. Deliberately create.

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Thanks for reading.

Breathe when there is nothing else,
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A Mother’s Languor (n. to lose strength, to weaken)

Life intervenes; the breathing species requires you.
Figuratively, a side smack against the desire doesn’t make it disappear.Your eyes still see the vivid & loud need for growth and for some strange reason this makes your stomach turn.
Waiting patiently to resume the love affair with your pillow while on the outside you surf the wild waves smiling.
Just a moment’s peace.
Where is it?
In the basket that collects the golden eggs…
questions, zucchini, mouths, dishes, retail involvement, papers, chocolate covered pecans, icons, devices, answers, headphones?